Let’s go right in; I’m asking you to strip down. Down to you, the real you. Take off the makeup, the perfume, fake nails, tan, extensions, fake eyelashes, the piercings, the name brand clothing, wash out the hair dye and see past the tattoos. Take away your social media, your cell phone, take away anything that you arm yourself with as an extension of you. Now look in the mirror.
Do you recognize that person? When is the last time you saw them? What are your thoughts about this person? Be honest with yourself and be open, be unfiltered. Find all your flaws and embrace them, Love them, and love yourself. Look yourself right in the eye and say the things you love about yourself. Does it feel weird? Maybe, but I promise it’ll feel good in the end. We all do things to hide our insecurities and have things we would like to change about ourselves. We have feelings that make us feel less, especially when outside a group of people.
We as humans are very visual creatures and there is nothing wrong with that.
It can be a great strength to be able to admire the beauty and portray what you find beautiful. The issue with a visual frame of mind is that when everything is based on what you see, you can lose touch with who you are. What are your values? Who are your friends? Who do you put in your circle? Can you always count on them to be there for you through thick and thin? You know the real friends that you actually pick up the phone and call. Or do you limit your circle to those friends who are limited to an interaction of liking posts on Facebook or Instagram? Always ask, when is the last time you had a meaningful conversation? When is the last time you looked your friend in the eye and asked them if they are okay? What are your standards for relationships? What is your legacy? These are all very loaded questions. You may be thinking, whoa that’s too much. Instinctually we want to run away, we want to hide and not face our demons. It’s scary! But, the more you face them, the stronger and more grounded you will be.
What have you done for yourself lately? How much kindness have you shown to yourself? How do you talk about yourself?
For me, meditation makes a considerable difference. Simply the act of clearing my mind and having time to connect with myself and God feels fantastic. Don’t get me wrong, some days get crazy, and it takes everything I can muster up in me to sit still for ten minutes and meditate. But I know that I owe myself the damage control and self-love. It’s a kindness to yourself that will show itself to your world.
Sometimes we get so disconnected from ourselves that finding answers for the simple questions can be daunting. So when we get to a place of honesty with our being and strength behind our standards, How do we get so disconnected? It’s usually not a rapid series of events but a slow day by day wandering. The childlike ambition and excitement behind our actions get drowned out, gets pushed way deep down with work, family, bills, and responsibility. We become vulnerable to weight gain or weight loss that often launches the negative thinking and the feelings of self-doubt start to take over.
Everyone gets caught in a pattern of disconnection. How do we slam the breaks and those behaviors and center our thoughts? Whenever I’m caught, I always go back to the basics. I make a list. A list of all the things I love; favorite colors, favorite animals, favorite foods. You’d be surprised. Once I can see a visual of what attractions I’m connected to, I make a second list. In this next step, I write down the things I love to do. Things that I would like to do and the goals that I have. And when I look at these two lists. That is me. That is what you should work on every day. Start a journal and write down one thing every day that you have done for yourself. Some days you’re going to realize you’ve gone a whole day without taking even five minutes just to breathe.
Identifying yourself is priority number one, but we all know that as powerful as that can be it can only get you so far.
To continue the progression, the only thing that works for me is daily journaling. By creating a physical account of my thoughts they become real, they become manageable.
For that reason, I prefer writing with a pen to paper, but whatever you’re most comfortable with, take that route, that’s you. If you have trouble making it a priority and fitting it into your daily schedule I would highly recommend downloading one of many, many apps that can remind you to take a break for a few minutes and just connect to you.
You are worth love and kindness. Many of us find the strength to work ourselves to the bone and take care of the people around us, but if you’re not taking care of yourself who knows how long YOU will be around. If you’re not around who will take care of your loved ones? Your business? Your employees? When a plane is going down, they instruct you to place the oxygen mask over your face first and then see to your children and dependents. Why do they say that? Yes, exactly.